My Allergies to Stupid People

My name is Courtney and I know you don't know anything about me.  You are probably sitting there thinking, "Listen lady, we don't care!"  Welllllllllll that's perfect because I was going to spare you the psycho-babble-bullshit anyway.

I'm sitting here at work.. actually work is over, what the hell am I still doing here???  (LOGOUT)  Ok then, I guess we will make this quick and straight to the point.

Everyday I take phone calls. Everyday I listen to sob stories.

And everyday I give the same answer:

"Your work will be graded in the order that they are received. We can NOT rush grades for any students under any circumstances.  Grading for your packet will take approximately 7-10 business days."  It's an awfully simple explanation, dontcha think?  It's like raaaaaiiiinnnnnnnnn on your wedding day.. KIDDING. Thank you Alanis Morisette for the reference but let's move on..

back to my point:
What I would really love to say to the dad that let his son skip out on gym class his freshman year because the kid "just didn't feel like going to class" or to the mom that thought her education was "more important than her daughter's" or to the parents that want to know the least amount of work their dumbass kid can do and still pass this course is......... What do I want to say to them? 

"ARE YOU KIDDDDDDDING ME????  I'm sorry but poor planning on your part does not BY ANY MEANS call for an emergency action on my part!

And that is why I have been sneezing all day..... Damn allergies.