Inventions Leading to a Waste of Human Intelligence

There is this really great website, http://www.stumbleupon.com/ , where you can submit your interests and it will direct you to different websites that relate to you.  OK that was a pretty shitty explanation.. Just go to the damn site and check it out for yourself.

Anyway.

So I stumble pretty frequently and on one of my stumbles the other day I came across this website that really fricken irritated me.  It's called totally absurd.. obviously for a reason.  I was looking around the Inventions Archive and it made me want to beat people up (I'm really not a bully and couldn't hurt a fly even with a shoe).

You would NOT believe some of the things they called inventions! It was crazy.. It proves that people will literally do just about ANYTHING for green stuff.



^ That kind of green stuff! Jeez get your heads out of the gutter...

One particular invention that I think could possibly be an all-time low for any parent is called Baby Bottom Art.  No, I did not stutter.  Who in God's name would ever purchase a painting made by some random kid's ass cheeks saturated in paint and plopped on a canvas?  I certainly would not.   That's disgusting.  Does this even qualify as an invention?  It's pictured below.. you tell me.

Another crazy idea is called a Kissing Shield.  REALLLLYYY????  The ad states, "If you enjoy kisses but dread the idea of getting a disease, then the Kissing Shield is a 'must have' item. This germ barrier consists of a thin latex membrane artfully stretched over an attractive and romantic heart shaped frame."  I'm pretty sure when you kiss someone you know the chances for getting germs and you don't give a shit!  My dad calls this swapping spit which makes it pretty clear:  Spit has germs.  You are exchanging spit between your tounges.  You will most likely be exchanging germs as well.

The inventor also made this unique contraption intended for politicians that kiss babies.  Who the hell thinks of this shit??????

I don't see Bush using a Kissing Shield...



Finally, my favorite worthless invention.  Stud Spectacles.  The name in itself tells you it HAS to be awesome, right?  WRONG!  The inventor for this stupid idea obviously wore glasses and didn't like the fact that they would fall down his face and were difficult to keep up on his nose.  Solution? CONTACTS you shithead.  Nope! Not this guy, he decided piercing his eyebrows and inventing glasses that attach to them would be a better fit!  Take a look...

I'm sure all people that wear glasses are going jump on this bandwagon!  Alrighty folks, there you have it!  I'm going to stumble upon something else that doesn't make me want to staple my finers together.  Have the best weekend everrrrrrrrrrr!